my new reality

As we go through life things change and life as you knew it is no longer your reality. Changes can be so overwhelming and adjustments are made as you move along. As this happens you have a new reality that becomes the norm and you forget what life was like before. I was 12 when I first had to deal with loss. My father's father died. My grandparents had always traveled to Florida for winters so I simply pretended that he was there. Gradually, I was able to adjust to that new reality. Over the years my other 3 grandparents have passed on one at a time and reality changed. As DD moved so far away to dance we had to adjust to being without her. DS off to college. Empty nest reality. I feel I took most of these things in stride with a sense of sadness and a few tears. My newest reality, however, is not so easily adjusted to. My mom passed away very early on Easter morning. Even though we have known since she was diagnosed this was a possible reality there was always hope and something that could be done to possibly avert it.
My mom was only 68 and had been healthy, active and took good care of herself and her family all her life. She loved camping, kayaking, almost anything outdoors. She was a good, caring person and well respected in the small community where she had lived since she married my dad almost 50 years ago. She was a teacher's aide in the elementary school. Deciding she would like to be a teacher she put herself through college summers and evenings to get her teaching certificate. She graduated sum cum laud and taught 5th grade for a number of years. When she retired from that she worked as interim Postmaster filling in on weekends and days off in the small town where I grew up. She was very supportive of our church serving for years as treasurer and teaching in the Sunday school. When I was growing up there were maybe 3-5 families who went to church regularly. Over the last 20 or so years the congregation had grown so that the pews are nearly full every Sunday and she was so happy and proud of that. Her passing has left a huge void in our lives as well as the lives of the people in the communities she was a part of.
I feel most of the good parts of me are because of her and the way she raised me.